


~Heather~

by Michael28withabee



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:06:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael28withabee/pseuds/Michael28withabee
Summary: He was here, with her. He was always with her, Heather. I couldn't hate her. Who could? She was perfect, beautiful, smart, everything he'd wanted... everything I could never be. Maybe drinking doesn't solve everything... but maybe, thing's will work out this time.
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Kudos: 7





	~Heather~

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on the song Heather by Conan Grey, because i mean, don't we all want to be Heather?

\--------

I remember December, when it got cold but never enough for the rain to freeze, we'd always had cold sludge rather than the beautiful ,powdery snow. Back then, when I'd met him, I hated it. I hated the squish rather than a satisfying crunch, i hated how the sludge would turn grey with dirt instead of being a pristine white, i hated not having snowball fights and not making snow forts just because we couldn't. Now though, i was glad. More content with the grey's and disappointment. I know he's with her right now, probably letting her wear his polyester sweater he used to let me wear. 

It was the same time last year, i had spent the day at his house, watching movies in his room the whole day. Until he got bored. "Ugh, wanna go for a walk?" He'd asked. I remember how he lightly pushed the hair off my forehead, always so gently with me, like he knew my past of heartbreak and abandonment. I nodded, willing to follow him to the ends of the earth as long as i was by his side. The smile on his face when i agreed still managed to make me blush even all these months later. So we went for a walk, the cold wind nipped at our noses and fingertips, but as long as he smiled at me, i was warm. He saw me shiver though, that when he pulled off the polyester sweater and slipped it over my head before i could protest.

The same sweater he probably lets her wear now.

I can't say I'm surprised, i have no real right to be upset either, I'd always noticed how his eyes were stuck on her as she'd pass down the halls. A sight for sore eyes she was. It was undeniable how gorgeous she was, i still couldn't help but feel jealous. Her eyes were brighter than a blue sky while mine are mud brown, her hair was long and perfectly shiny, mine a dull quiffed black, he was mesmerized by her, and i was always on the sidelines, cursed to watch him fall for her while die.

I could only shake my head to rid the memory, shivering and tucking my hands under my arms, continuing my walk to the party in the sludge i could now relate to. "Why would he ever kiss me... I'm not even half as pretty, he gave her that sweater, i know it's just polyester, but he likes her better... i wish i were Heather." I whispered, stomping my shoes off at the front door and slowly making my way to my inside.

As i walked in, I was greeted my a few people, giving a few fist-bumps and waving to other, i immediately walked toward the kitchen, knowing i was going to need a drink. Grabbing a random solo cup, I walked back out to the living room where most of the party was. Immediately after stepping in, I'd wished I hadn't.

He was here, with her. Rolling my eyes i immediately downed the entire cup of whatever was in it, scrunching my nose at the taste. I slammed the cup down on a near by counter-top, walking back to the kitchen to grab another.

This time, when i walked back to the living room, i made sure to stand in the far corner, propping myself up on a wall. I didn't want to watch them, but i found my eyes kept sliding over toward them. He was so close to her, her smile blinding at whatever they were talking about, i couldn't help my curiosity.

I'm not sure how many drink i'd had, around four or five maybe, but by my sixth i felt my head beginning to swim. I was more comfortable, dancing to the music with people around me more drunk than i would prefer to be. And still, i kept glancing at them. His arm now wrapped around her shoulder, her holding his limp hand, as he laughed at something she'd said.

Then she saw me. Our eyes locked for a few seconds, i couldn't help but wink, poking out my tongue, and waving my hand at her. She smiled, waving back and nudging him. The look on his face when he saw me was enough to make my stomach turn, i immediately looked away.

The traces of a laugh he had on his face were gone, instead their lay a small smile, his eyes were soft, leaning away from her slightly, but he was trained right back on her.

I couldn't shake my pain this time, knocking back the rest of my drink, i pushed my way through the crowd. I couldn't be there any longer, the knowledge of him with her right in front of me hurt me before, but with my swimming brain and emotional nature while drunk... i knew i wouldn't be able to hold myself together.

I walked out the front door, flinching at the cold but pushing on. My apartment wasn't very far from here and i knew i could make it as long as i walked quickly. I didn't walk far before i heard the front door slam open from behind me, but i knew better than to look back, continuing down the sludge path carved from previous feet.

"Zayn!" I froze. Why. Why did he have to come out? Shaking my head, i continued yet again, hoping, praying, it was just my imagination playing a sick trick on me.

"Please! Wait." I could hear his feet crunching through the mushy "snow". With a deep sigh, i turned to face him, knowing i couldn't walk out of this one. When i'd completed my turn, i was standing right in front of me. I noticed the small snow flakes sticking to his fluffy brown hair, his deep brown puppy dog eyes look to me desperately, his mouth turned down as he gnawed him lip nervously.

"Why'd you leave? You looked like you were having fun? Are you alright?" He took a step closer, going to put a hand on my shoulder, but i stepped back.

"'m fine, Liam... felt sick." I slurred, my eyes now trained on his busted up trainers. He twiddled with his fingers for a moment, i had half a mind to just walk away, but i couldn't now. Not with him right here with me, not with her. Me.

"Are you sure? I just- I saw you. As soon as i saw you, you were walking out?" He seemed confused, i couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Nodding my head, i shivered, wrapping my arms around myself. "Yeah, you're with her. I felt sick. Figured i should go home." I shrugged, remembering her beside him. An absolute angel, gorgeous, perfect... but i still couldn't help wishing she were dead.

"Her? Oh, Heather? Yeah, she's great isn't she? Have you met her, Zayn? God, she's a saint, i swear it." I could hear his smile, could see how happy he must be with her.

I scoffed, my eyes starting to tear up," Yeah, she's great. Go be with her, Liam. I'd better go." I began to turn away, trying to not let him see me about to cry.

He grabbed my arm," What? Zayn, come on mate. Do you not like her or something? I just- ever since her and I became friends, it's like i don't see you much." He sighed, not letting me go no matter how much i squirmed.

"No, she's great Liam! She's prefect. She's gorgeous, just... go be with her then. Go be her friend." I put emphasis on the word friend, hoping he understood then, but at the same time i hoped he'd just let me go.

"What- Zayn. What are you talking about? We are just friends. Come on man, let's go back in, it's too cold out here, yeah?" He shook his head, trying to pull me with him.

I couldn't do this right now, the tears in my eyes were about to fall, and i was shaking like a leaf. "No, Liam! I- I can't do it. Just, please. Go give her your polyester sweater, go look at her sky blue eyes, go be mesmerized by her, go be with her and let me die!"

I didn't mean to shout, but he let me go, more confused than anything. I looked at him now, the tears falling. "Zayn?" He gasped out, unable to say more.

"Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, the one that's polyester, but you like her better. I wish i were Heather." I cried, pulling my hands to my face, wiping away the pathetic tears.

I knew the truth, i knew he loved her how he would never love me. I knew he'd planned he future with her. Ready to get together, make a family after school, have a beautiful house. Leave me forever. I could only hope i could stay a friend in his life, but after all that i had said, i'd be lucky to be allowed to talk to him. Right now, i wish he would say something. Anything.

"I'm sorry- Liam, please-" I was cut off with him pulling me to his chest. I could feel the polyester under my finger tips, could feel his heart beat right against my ear, his hair tickled against my neck.

"You're my everything. I kissed you because i love you, you're much more beautiful than Heather. I'd never, ever, not in a million years giver her that sweater, because it's ours. And i could never like her better than you, Zee. You're my Heather." He whispered, kissing the side of my head with a fond smile.

I cried into his shoulder, so happy and relieved he was here with me. He was mine. He wasn't with her. He never gave her our sweater.

Turns out, i was his Heather.

And he was mine.   
\--------


End file.
